1.29.18 Fix-A-Flat Boyfriend (Poem, 2004)

Retro Poetry Intro: This poem appeared fourteen years ago in my personal poetry book #72, “1920’s Love Songs (Or, Fuck It Sweetie)” Jan-Apr 2004. Obviously, I was a little tired of dating the same pieces of crap that I had come across in the 11 years I had dated prior to this. Enjoy!

FIX-A-FLAT BOYFRIEND.
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i just want a boyfriend who won’t lie, i just
want a boyfriend who can really satisfy.

i just want a man who won’t suddenly consecrate our future marriage in Kalamazoo, and fuck me raw by the stroke of two.

i just want a boyfriend a boyfriend like you.

i just want a man who can show me this and that, i just want a man who knows how to fix a flat.

i just want a boy who knows how to use his tongue… and who won’t mind me killing off the occasional lung.

i just want a lover who won’t suddenly fall to pieces when i tell him when i tell him i don’t do anal sex. hardly what I’d call complex.

i just want a boyfriend who won’t get all psycho on me.. and chase me with a big butcher knife around the apartment complex at 3.

i just want a guy who isn’t frightened to be himself, i just want a lovely quiet shadow who will do what i say sometimes and sit on a shelf.

i want someone who won’t get in my way. have you seen him? do you know where he is? (Yes he needs to be gay.)

i just want a boyfriend who won’t stalk me in the middle of night, i just want a lover someone to hold me tight.

i only want a man who knows who he truly is. i only want a man who isn’t into the usual ‘look at me look at me’ showbiz.

i want a man i want a lover i want a life to live with someone new. i want a man i want a lover i want a life to live with someone like you.
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