1.24.18 Late January Update (Journal)

This week has been interesting. Bracing, defiant, frantic and full of color.

I had a nice surprise lunch at my place with the bf today, which was a nice change. I pick him up usually, and we go somewhere fast-foody and quick so we can share most of the hour together kissing in alleyways in my car or talking up a storm in a deli somewhere and realizing.. “Oh shit! It’s ten after, babe! Gotta go back.” We usually like to meet up on Wednesdays for lunch. We both work pretty closeby one another and while we are each both crazy busy sometimes, we always try to make it a point to meet up on that day, sitting at the middle of the week – In our lunch meetings we always meet one another with a huge loving embrace. Seeing the bf today put the week into perspective for me.

First off, I have been having a pretty crazy couple of weeks at work. I’m coordinating three upcoming events while managing me and my coworkers clients – she’s out on maternity leave since about a week ago – but I’m managing just fine. It’s actually quite fun to be busy nonstop, it makes the whole day go by so much faster, and getting more one on one time with our district families is just awe-inspiring. I’ve had a few clients who have been sidelined in the bureaucracy of healthcare; sound like a stinking mess? This is what I do, I help people with their insurance and give out other community resources. It was a tough, challenging and desperate few days, trying to get these families assisted as soon as possible since they had been jerked around so badly. It helped to see babe today and see that I am indeed doing good work and I am strong enough to keep doing this. THIS being work, school, workout, and my relationship with him, of course. It’s a fine balancing act, but I think things are going as well as they can with us both being so busy (and he, sick with his chest illness at times.)

So in between helping clients at work and doing site visits, I’m always constant of how many steps I take, and going out of my way to go up stairs and take extra steps, even when not needed. I’m also a crazy fast driver and a somewhat impatient person (secretly, perhaps not so secret anymore, lol), so it’s definitely a challenge to just… stop and smell the roses, so to speak. But when I do, like today during lunch, it’s a fantastic experience. I’ve been on a diet of sorts and also working out daily, and I feel myself losing weight and feeling better inside and out. It’s a great feeling, and I can’t imagine not getting some kind of daily exercise now. My mind and my heart need it.

I launched my official website again (at http://www.brianbolding.com ) I’ve owned it on and off for the past umpteen years, and now it’s mine again. It basically is just a mirror of my WordPress blog (this!) right now, and who knows what else later again. It’s gone through so many stages, but I like to have that page so I can share my art and viewpoints with the world. I hope that doesn’t sound cocky, it’s not, it’s just my private little passion.. writing, photography and art, video games, sci-fi, doctor who, etc. I love sharing it all and like the feedback over the years, too. So please take a look and comment if you wish. xx

Put up all the Christmas and New Years decorations and stuff a few weeks ago, and now the apartment just feels cold and slightly lonely. This is why I always keep a TV on or Spotify on my Invoke or something. I c an’t stand silence. It kind of terrifies me. Coming from a big city most of my life, this is definitely very country here for me in Albuquerque. Nothing compared to Los Angeles or Dallas, for instance, what I’m used to, so it’s been a challenge for me to wrap my head around just how different everyone is here, and on their own time table and schedule, each with their own agendas. I guess you could say that exists in all walks of life in cities, and perhaps it does. I just see it more and more each day.. ‘I Give Up’ is what most people’s faces tell me these days. I hate to say that, and its sad to see, and this is why I try to be a bright somewhat cheery (but real) person. I can shoot you up to the stars with compliments then shoot you down in a blaze of glory. It’s all a game. LOL Oh my. I’ve gone down another rabbit hole, haven’t I?

Lastly, I’ve been writing alot more the past few weeks, and that feels good, too. I usually write a little each night after I do my online homework for the day and week. I’m actually writing a new short story right now, it’s called “Reading Improvement.” It’s a biographical story about an experience in my reading improvement (remedial) class at Euless Junior High back in ye olde 1987. It was a fantastic experience, it changed my life forever, and it made me understand not only how powerful and amazing teachers are, but the amazing power within that is hiding sometimes and just needs a little ‘nudge’ to set off. It’s a great story and I love how empowering it is, too. So stay tuned for that!

Ok. Goodnight. And best wishes to everyone. I hope your new year is going great. Mine is. But I’m super grateful of what I have and try to be as loving and helpful to mankind as I can. I have the same wish for you all.


Image: “Winrock Center” (circa 1960’s or 70’s) mall postcard image I found on the internet. This mall is only about half a mile from me, and looks nothing like this anymore! Think… strip mall meets concrete monstrosity near the side of the highway. Plus some cool restaurants I like. Albuquerque, New Mexico.


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