02.01.22 February Falls (Journal)

So… what have I been up to lately? Well, I got my first colonoscopy, I’ve been getting A’s in my latest (extremely tough) grad school Counseling class, I’ve been volunteering with my non-profit LGBTQIA+ theatre company I’m on the board of, I dodged a Covid exposure bullet, and I’ve been expertly dodging the dating scene like a pro. How have you been?

I can’t believe it’s February. Honestly. I know I’ve said this before, at least twice or thrice, but the years, months and days and minutes and seconds just seem to fly by! I was struck this past Saturday when I woke up and I looked like a scraggly beast in the bathroom mirror. My beard looked insane, my sideburns were sticking straight out, and I couldn’t recognize myself anymore. So, what did I do? I took out the Norelco One Plus and had a field day. I went a little too far, so I decided to buzz off my entire beard (save for my mustache and goatee, and half my porkchop sideburns, circa 00’s me.) It’s been interesting, to be sure. I notice my chin and neck are a little puffier than before – covid weight? Age? I dunno. I still manage to work out at least every other day (if not every day) but I still need to focus on my eating habits. That’s my main goal for this year… to eat healthier and start a new diet. (We’ll see how that goes!) The beard should grow back in no time, but it felt good to get rid of all that HAIR… it was just… getting gross. Plus, I had some random white hairs here and there that were bothering me, and I was just ready for a change. Hey, we all need a change. Even small ones.

So, I thought I had Covid for a few minutes, a few days ago. Weird story. I was working out at the gym over the weekend and ran to the store. When I returned home, my phone alerted me that ‘you may have been within close contact of someone who tested positive for Covid, for over 10 minutes.’ I was stunned, shocked even. I’m extremely antisocial so HOW on EARTH could I have been exposed to Covid? Then it hit me… the grocery store, the gym… Thankfully, my 4 free government Covid tests had arrived a day before via mail, and I tested myself the next day, and found out I was negative. (Phew!) My sis in Cali says she and her family get those notifications all the time, and they always do an at home test, but they’re always negative, thankfully. So that made me feel a bit better! *Phew*

My YouTube channel has also been keeping me busy. Each day (Mon-Thurs) when I get home from work around 4, I finish up my homework for the day, talk to a friend or two (or text), and then I lose myself in making new videos for my vintage gaming channel. It’s so fun! I love it, in fact. I’ve also met some cool vintage gamers like myself all over the world, and it’s been amazing. (I’ve also met a couple of two-faced YouTubers, which is no fun, but they are far outweighed by the wonderful people I’ve met. There seems to be a 2% asshole ratio in just about every facet of life, and I’ve just gotta keep dodging them and moving on!) So, as of today, not that it matters (and it doesn’t to me, as it shouldn’t to others), but I am at 61 subscribers, as of this morning. It’s amazing! I never thought I would have a handful or a dozen, let alone 50, and beyond! I’m stoked about that, but as I said, it’s not the reason I make videos – I make vintage gaming videos because I truly, truly love making them, and it’s my new passion in life. I’ve got some great ideas on upcoming content (beyond the ‘Cidercade’ tour I did last week… which was filmed the night I left Dallas for the holidays to return home on Dec 29th), but even more ideas, which is a good thing! I started my new series ‘Unbox’d’ last week, which is all about vintage gaming and collectible/antique unboxings, and so far, I’ve had positive responses, so I’m excited to keep those going! It’s filling up my nights, and keeping me happy, and ensuring I don’t go to that dark “I’m 46 and still single” place. Yay for YouTube!

What else is new? Not much more. As I stated above, I volunteered at a Drag Bingo for the LGBTQIA+ theatre company I’m on the board of, and that was super fulfilling. It was also nice to get out in public again at a bar – even though one or two people weren’t that thrilled to see me (exes and bad date situations) but I didn’t give a shit – it felt good to get out there and be public and be with mostly awesome people who I adore. Being part of the theatre company is fulfilling, and I love helping out in any way I can, although my role is a little diminished now because of school and my YouTube stuff, but it’s been fun. I’m so glad I stuck with it and didn’t walk away like I wanted to initially a few months ago. I’m now ‘board member at large’ and don’t have a specific title – before I was director of publicity and social media, and it was just too much, so now I have the perfect designation, for sure. It fits in with my life.

I hung out with a new local gaming buddy (Rick) a couple of weeks ago, and that was fun. He talks about as much as I do (haha) but is a great guy, and it’s been fun to hang out and talk about Atari nonstop, but he knows all the ins & outs of all the technical side of things. For instance, he built his own modems back in the day, out of nothing – he’s so crafty and smart – unlike me, in those ways – but it’s been great having a new local gaming buddy. I’m appreciative of my friend Adam for introducing us virtually. His wife works nearby so we figure once every other Friday or so he can stop by to hang out and play games, chat, and I’m all down for that.

In all, the start of the new year has been good, if not a little overwhelming, but mostly overwhelming in good ways. The bad part about that is the loneliness that sets in at times – mostly on the weekends – when I’m home alone with my animals (again!) on a Friday or Saturday night, watching movies and playing video games, mostly alone. I’m used to it. I’ve been used to that mostly my whole life – but I definitely still have that goal of finding that special someone this year, or any year, and having some wonderful dates and falling in love. I know it’ll happen. I’m just unwilling to settle for less than I feel what I deserve… which is a lot more than what I’ve experienced thus far with dating! As I told my little Sis, it will happen when it’s time – when the time is right, things will fall into place, as I hope they do this year, or next… and I’ll be ready to embrace that love and that light.

Have a wonderful February!


Photograph is of my ‘co-host’ Derek, in my new series on my #vintagegaming #YouTube channel, in my new series ‘Unbox’d!’ Check it out here.

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